What mothers do…
These days, I’ve pretty much given up reading ‘how-to’ books and forums on parenting. I am gradually and tentatively starting to follow my own instincts and common sense. If I do really need reference or advice, I have a quick look, talk to other trusted mom-friends and quietly draw my own decisions. I really feel much better for this, and feel I am being a better and more empowered mom for Bea. All the books and conflicting advice around can really make new parents feel inadequate and even more lost than they already feel. Some of the other moms I know have sworn off these types of books too; I know someone who’s even had a bonfire to burn all the parenting books she had!
I also very rarely have time to read these days, but the book below somehow kept cropping up for me in various conversations and articles. I took this as a sign, so I decided to give it a go….
Am I ever glad I did. I think the book came to me at the right time. It really feels like the author has climbed into my tired, cacophonous, jumbled up brain at the moment and made sense of all my experiences and feelings. I really feel like she’s given me a voice. I read passages and I think: ‘Yes! Yes! Thank you for acknowledging how I feel and making sense of it all for me. For putting into words all these overwhelming feelings and thoughts that I didn’t even realize I had.’ Sometimes, tears just simply run down my face because I am so grateful that my feelings, thoughts and the things I do right now that nobody ever sees are given validity. It’s good to feel understood and know that I am not alone – especially when the motherhood journey could sometimes be so hard, isolating and lonely.
What Mothers Do Especially When It Looks Like Nothing is really helping to make me feel more confident as I navigate these early days and months of my new role. This new dimension. It is teaching me not to be so hard on myself and to love Bea and me even more.